A BABYSITTING DAY

When I was last doing face-to-face writing groups, I used to bang on endlessly about "writers' moments" and "the extra in the ordinary". By that I meant finding inspiration in the day-to-day lives around us.

One writer never played along, saying it was okay for me to do such stuff because I had an outlet for stories like that.

I'm sure I explained, but let me do it again.

When you learn to see those moments, you can take them where you like. You don't need to write them like I do. Write them like you do. Find your own outlets. Make it happen your way.

The point I was stressing was - inspiration is everywhere!

Here's an example.

My daughter worries about asking me to babysit, because she knows I am busy with writing work. I tell her I would rather babysit! But, if I'm doing it properly - and living up to my belief that inspiration is everywhere - then I ought to be able to do both.

I spent the day with Oran yesterday, and ended up with stories for three different outlets.

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THE PEOPLE'S FRIEND -UNEXPECTEDLY DELIGHTED

If my daughter says she would quite like a break, I know what that means.

She’s a working mum. Her husband is a working dad. They make a supportive team. But, every once in a while... What she wants it to switch off, not to be responsible for a while.

I am happy to be able to give that to her. Not least because it means I get to spend the day with my darling not-yet-two-years-old grandson.

While I change the nappies, do the lunches, blow the tummy-raspberries, she takes herself to the charity shops. And she browses.

To properly browse a charity shop, you go in with no expectations – other than that you might, possibly, be delighted. “Tame” charity shops don’t do it for either of us. We prefer the “wild” variety; the sort of place where even the staff don’t know what they have.

The author Neil Gaiman once had a shopper buy the Holy Grail from such a place. And who is to say it isn’t there, somewhere?

The thought I bear in mind when perusing the racks and the boxes is, ‘Someone thought this was special once’. And someone thought it worth passing on. The trick is to see these objects as their previous owners saw them.

The longer you have been around, the greater the chance there is that something you see there will stir an emotional response. You go in with no expectations, and you might come out the same way. But you might find something useful, you might have a forgotten memory revived, you might discover a treasure worthy of an appearance on Antiques Roadshow.

Once you have practiced the art of charity shop browsing, you might try taking the same approach to the world outside those rates-free walls.

Imagine starting each new day with no expectations (but comfortable, with a few spare pounds, as you might have going into the charity shop). You’re not in a rush. You’re pleasant to the people doing the good work. You take it as you find it, but always leaving room to be surprised.

Every built thing you encounter will have been carefully crafted by someone. Many of those things would have seemed like miracles not too long ago. Every person you meet will have a story. It might be boring, fascinating, it might intersect with yours... or not. Every natural thing you see is a miracle. There might be puppies, children playing, blue skies... or hurt and sullen people you can do a kindness for.

If you are really lucky, a day with no expectations might turn into a day of playing with a grandchild, of laying beside them as they nap and gazing adoringly at the wonder of their existence.

Let’s face it, the world is a charity shop. Everything in it, was freely given to it. Countless generations have been born into it, been fed from it, lived in it, loved in it, and have returned to it. Can there be a part of it left that hasn’t been precious to somebody at some time? It’s not old and done, it’s waiting for us to see it with appreciative eyes; waiting for us to give it a new purpose and, perhaps, to love it anew.

So, take your responsibilities seriously. But, give yourself a break as well. Live the days with no expectations other than to receive charity and to give charity. And, always, be prepared to be unexpectedly delighted.

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THE SUNDAY POST - PLAITED TOGETHER

I had the pleasure of looking after two-year-old Oscar yesterday. One of the many games we played involved two horses which he informed me were Mummy and Baby.

“Are they,” I asked, as if logic was to be expected in a child’s game. “Why?”

One horse was large, made of fabric, brown and otherwise nondescript. The other was small, made of plastic and had wings. Instead of fur, it had sparkles. Looking at me as if their relationship was completely obvious, little Oscar pointed to their manes. Both were plaited in the same pattern. Apart from their general body shape, they were different in almost every other way. But he had found a similarity and made them family because of it.

Now, if only he could teach the rest of us to look past the differences to the things we have in common the world would be a happier place.

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THE FRIENDSHIP BOOK - KINDNESS SPREADS

Jackie is one of the Lady of the House’s oldest and dearest friends. A few years back she presented my sweetheart with an embroidered cushion, meant to symbolise their friendship. Depicted there were two girls in love-heart-patterned dresses.

Now, there’s a certain little cheeky charmer that we look after from time to time. He’s only 18 months, but he knows what he likes. And he loves that cushion. Now it’s his regular cuddle-in-thing at nap-time.

All of which is just to say – kindness spreads in unexpected ways!

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There is nothing more ordinary than babysitting. But, looked at from a writers point of view, there aren't many things more wonderful.

So, have a look around. And learn to see the ordinary anew!